Divorce is never easy. But mediation can be a good option for some divorcing couples. Mediation can be faster, less expensive, and couples may be more satisfied with the results because they have more control over the final agreement. Even the California Court’s website recommends mediation as an option alternative to litigation because it can help reduce the negative emotional impact of a divorce.
Still, maybe you’re worried about what happens if it all goes wrong. Will mediation be just an expensive detour on the way to court? Here are some frequently asked questions to help you decide if mediation is right for you.
What is mediation?
Mediation is a legally binding negotiated agreement. In divorce mediation, the agreement can cover anything from child custody, child support, property division, or alimony.
Mediation is a completely voluntary process—you shouldn’t feel pressured to go to mediation rather than go to court. The whole point of mediation is so that parties can work together to find a satisfactory agreement, with the help of a neutral third-party. The mediator you choose should be an experienced family law attorney who understands the issues you face and can draft a legally binding agreement that states exactly what you agreed to.
Each spouse can still bring in their own attorney to represent them in the mediation. And if mediation doesn’t resolve all of the issues, you still have the option of going to court.
What are the benefits?
Divorce mediation can have a lot of advantages over a contested divorce. In some situations, it can be faster and much less expensive. Parties may feel like they have more control over the situation, because they can talk directly to the mediator and ask for exactly what they want. As a result, the final agreement can be much more personalized to your situation. When that is the case, you will probably feel a lot more satisfied with the agreement than if you were simply forced to accept what the judge decided in court.
…And what are the drawbacks?
Of course, mediation simply doesn’t work in all situations. You may still have to go to court to resolve your issues, even though you spent time and money on the mediation process.
Will it work for my situation?
Mediation is a great option when both parties respect each other and recognize that they need to maintain a good relationship as co-parents. But mediation isn’t only an option for couples that get along well. A good mediator will be aware of the power imbalances, highly emotional issues, and other factors that stand in the way of negotiating a fair agreement.
However, if your spouse has lied to you about property or finances in the past, or there are serious trust issues, mediation might not be a good choice for your situation. Mediation is also not appropriate if there was domestic violence or emotional abuse in the relationship, or an ongoing threat or fear of violence.
What if mediation doesn’t work for us?
Many couples find that they are able to work out a satisfactory agreement for all issues—but not always. Still, mediation can be an important step. Simply going through the process can help your long-term relations, which is better for your children. Often couples can agree on at least some of the issues, which means that there are fewer issues that will have to be settled in court.
Can we change the agreement later?
Even when mediation goes well, circumstances can change with time—particularly when children grow older. If you chose mediation, you will still have the option to go to court to modify an order.
Do you have more questions?
Divorce is a complicated, emotionally-draining process. There’s a lot to think about. If you have questions about your divorce and whether mediation is right for you, ask the divorce mediation experts at Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell, LLP. Call 909-482-1422 or email info@parents4children.com for your initial consultation today.
