There are so many legal, emotional, physical, social, and financial changes that occur during and right after a divorce. The New York Times reported that those who married in the 2000s have a divorce rate of about 15%—which isn’t too bad, considering that those who married in the 1990s had about a 35% rate, and those in the 1980s had a 50% divorce rate. So the outlook for many American marriages looks pretty good, but still, many of us will have to deal with the ups and downs of divorce at some point during our lifetimes.
It’s better to be prepared and know about the problems many (perhaps even most) people deal with during and after a divorce. When you’re aware of the potential snags, you can think through them and hopefully improve the situation if it arises.
Find a stress-reliever
No matter what the situation, divorce is almost always stressful for both partners. Find something that you enjoy—biking, yoga, reading novels, taking bubble baths, whatever—and make an appointment with yourself to do this activity once a week or more. It’ll help you mentally and physically get away from the divorce proceedings and give you a much needed break. It’s especially important to learn how to handle stress if you have children because they often pick up on and even emulate parental emotions. As you learn to be calm and begin to feel more peaceful, the children automatically will, too.
Affirm that you’re the adult
Sometimes when a marriage dissolves, the man or woman (or both) will begin to feel really lonely and miss the companionship a partner provided. It’s normal to feel this way, but it’s important to be aware of it and make sure you don’t attempt to place your child in this role. Keep your sense of authority and make sure you don’t let your loneliness cloud your judgment as a parent. The children need you to continue being the strong, stable mother or father that you’ve always been to ease this transition.
Try to strike a new balance
When you’ve just gone through a divorce, your life will likely feel a bit off-kilter for awhile, until you reach a new normal. Try to find a new way to live that upholds the special place your children have in your life while still leaving room for self-care. Some newly single parents isolate themselves, not taking any time to be alone or relax. Others dramatically amp up their social lives, neglecting their children. Both lifestyles end up being detrimental to both parent and children. When you can find a balance, your children will feel that sense of harmony in the home and be benefited by it as well, and your peace of mind will dramatically increase, too.
Going through a divorce? Hire the best attorneys in the Claremont, California area—Kendall and Gkikas, LLP. Call 909-482-1422 for an appointment today.
