Sometimes you don’t have a choice—you’ve been served with divorce papers, or you and your children are in danger.
But sometimes people find themselves in a marriage that isn’t satisfying, but they aren’t ready to leave just yet. Maybe it’s inertia holding you back, or fear of the unknown, or you’re just marking time until a specific event. Whatever the reason, if you have the time, there are many things you can do to prepare yourself financially and mentally for the long journey ahead.
Understand your finances
Regardless of their marital situation, most people feel like they don’t have a good grasp on their finances. Take the time now to locate and understand all the assets and debts you and your spouse own, separately or together, such as bank accounts, retirement funds, investments, and loans.
Take inventory of your household property, valuables, and real estate. What did you or your spouse own before the marriage, and what property was inherited? How and when you obtained property could make a difference in how it will be divided up later on.
Follow the money
When you learn what your assets are, keep track of how your income is spent. What are your monthly expenses? Can you account for where it all goes? Sadly, it is all too common for spouses to hide money from each other.
Budget and build a nest egg
Even if no one is hiding anything, money has a way of disappearing. If you’ve never been able to stick to a budget before, now is a good time to get in the habit. You’ll want to build up some savings on your own. Not only can divorce be expensive, but you’ll probably have additional household expenses that you used to split with your spouse. It might be intimidating, but when you know what to expect, you’ll be better equipped to make good decisions in the future. Speaking to a financial planner can be a huge help.
Even small steps will help you become financially and emotionally independent. If you don’t have your own checking account, savings account, or credit card, get them now! And don’t forget to check your credit score.
Take time to get organized
As you are learning about your financial situation, be sure to make copies of important paperwork, and keep them in a safe place—whether that means hard copies or digital files. Keep in mind that if you share a computer, or have joint access to your accounts online, you could run into trouble if your spouse has control of the passwords or the physical computer. Read more about how to keep your data safe here.
Deciding when the time is right
There’s never an ideal time to get divorced, but bad timing can have serious financial and emotional consequences. For example, you may be vested in your spouse’s social security benefits or retirement funds after a certain period of time. Or you might have a teenager leaving for college soon. It might seem like an ideal time to split, but it can be particularly challenging for a new freshman to have to adjust to college life and deal with the fact that their old life will never be the same.
Staying in a bad marriage forever isn’t going to be advantageous to you or your children, but if there are any good reasons to postpone your divorce, you might want to consider if they would actually be worth it to you.
You don’t have to do this alone
No matter what, a divorce means big changes are up ahead. But the single most important thing you can to do prepare for a divorce in Southern California is to talk to an experienced divorce attorney in person. (You can’t learn everything on the internet!) When you meet with with the experts at Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell, LLP, you’ll get to ask questions about your unique situation, and you’ll learn how you can prepare yourself for when you are ready to take the leap. Call 909-482-1422 or email info@parents4children.com today to make an appointment for your initial consultation.
