Many parents who are dealing with a divorce assume that joint custody is the ideal. They both love their children and they both want to be actively involved in their lives. At Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell we think it’s admirable to want this as the ideal but we also think it’s important for our clients to understand the pros and cons of this sometimes complicated custody arrangement.
The advantages of joint custody
The main advantage of a joint custody arrangement is that both parents are involved in their children’s lives. Many professionals will tell you that this is the most beneficial option for the children. This is both because it’s important to maintain relationships but also because each parent brings unique strengths to the children and can mold them in their own unique ways.
Another advantage of this option is that the kids will know that though their parents decided to divorce, they haven’t been abandoned. Often times kids will have the feeling that the divorce was somehow their fault and when one parent has sole custody, then the child may struggle with the idea that they are no longer loved by the other parent.
Finally, another advantage is that while both parents do get to enjoy time with their kids, they also get free time. This allows them to fully recover from the divorce by catching up with friends, pursuing new hobbies and activities, and even getting back into dating again.
The disadvantages of joint custody
While the ideal may be for the children to spend equal time with their parents, if this causes stress for them then it may not be what’s best. For example, if the former spouses are constantly fighting over when they get to see their child, then the child may end up dreading pickup time as they know their parents will be fighting.
Switching homes can also become tedious, tiring, and complicated for the child. If they’re constantly transporting their clothes back and forth, or if they’re constantly have to remember where to tell their friends they’ll be staying, it can become complicated. Of course, there are steps that parents can take to negate these issues, like choosing to live near each other, having consistent schedules that are easy for kids and their friends to remember, etc.
Which custody arrangement is right for you?
At Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell, the main thing we want you to remember is that it’s always worth it to carefully consider all sides to the issue. Though your immediate reaction may be that you want sole custody, or that dual custody is the right choice, be sure to sit down, analyze the situation, and ask yourself both what’s best for the kids and what the most reasonable solution is. When you speak to Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell at 909-482-1422, we can help you better understand your options and the responsibilities that come with them.
