Some people aren’t ready to date for years after they’re divorced. Others have known their marriage was over for many years and are ready as soon as they separate. If you’re considering starting to date, but you’re still technically married, then we encourage you to reach out to a divorce attorney as soon as possible. As you consider dating, also keep these tips in mind.
Don’t date if you’re not ready
There may be all sorts of people telling you to date. Your family, your friends, your co-workers – everyone will have an opinion on your divorce and the changes you’re making. If you’re excited about the idea then go ahead, but if you’re doing it to please someone else, it’s best to hold off. Don’t let someone else convince you that it’s “time” to start dating again. Everyone is different.
Be honest about your relationship status
It may seem simpler to tell potential dates that you’re single and leave it at that. However, think about this: What if you end up really like them? At some point they’re going to find out that you’re still married and it will look like you were hiding something. Be upfront, to the point, and honest from the beginning.
Start with coffee
You may be tempted to start your dating life off with dinner dates. Try to avoid this. Dinner can feel like a long, long time if you’re stuck with someone you don’t hit it off with. Start with a coffee date that’s short and sweet. If you like them, ask them to dinner. You can also start with a drink at a local bar but be careful not to drink too much.
Don’t meet your date at your house
There are many reasons not to meet a new date at your home. First, it simply may not be safe. You don’t know this person well enough to invite them to your home. Additionally, it can actually affect your divorce. For example, if you have children and are working out a custody agreement, it’s possible that your ex could try to use this against you. They may say that you shouldn’t be trusted with the safety of your children if you’re inviting people to the home that you hardly know.
Be honest about your children
It can be difficult to know when to bring your children up. You don’t want to make your date feel like you’re hiding anything, yet you don’t want to spend your entire date talking about your children. Mentioning their names and ages, and then moving on to another topic, is a good idea. Your children should never meet your dates until you’re ready to be serious about the relationship. Remember that the divorce is hard on your children too. Don’t make it more confusing by introducing them to people who are likely not going to stick around.
If you need help navigating the difficult world of divorce then your next call should be to Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell at 909-482-1422. We are here to help you find the best solution for your unique needs.
