It’s so easy to update your online status, it’s almost as easy as talking out loud. But remember that old saying, “Think before you speak”? It’s good advice for what you do online too, especially if you are in the middle of a contentious divorce or child custody battle.
Think before you post
Maybe you’ve also heard the advice to count to ten before speaking when you’re mad, so that you don’t say something you’ll regret later. Posting angry comments about your spouse can have the same harmful effect as verbal statements. Even worse, when you put it in writing, your ex can save those messages and bring them to court.
It might seem like everything online is just temporary because you can always delete your status, photos, or even your account. But you should treat everything you post online as if you are putting it there forever—because all it takes is one person taking a screenshot, and you have a record you can’t get rid off.
Facebook and social media
If you are going through a divorce or custody battle, don’t talk about it on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media. In fact, don’t post about your case even after the court order is finalized. You may need to go back to court eventually, but you certainly don’t want to give your ex a reason to haul you back based on something you said online. Courts have changed alimony and even child custody agreements based on what parties posted on social media.
You might be frustrated and upset, but don’t use social media to vent. Talk to a trusted friend or relative instead—one you know is on your side. If you post online, you don’t know who is reading what you write. Even if you unfriended or blocked your ex, you may still have mutual friends who follow you, but would report back to your ex. Even worse, your children might see it. Regardless of how you feel about your ex, your children still care about both of their parents. Try not to make your kids feel caught between the two of you.
Text messages
Even if you wish you were done with your ex forever, there may be reasons that you still need to communicate with each other, particularly if you have children together. Texting might be easier than calling or emailing, but try to stay professional and keep your emotions out of what you say. Stick to the facts, and don’t let yourself get pulled into a fight.
Passwords and privacy settings
Don’t forget to protect yourself by changing the passwords to your social media and email accounts, smartphone, and any other password that your spouse had access to. If you used to have a joint email address or other shared media accounts, get your own immediately! You don’t want your ex to have access to confidential information, such as emails from your attorney. Don’t make it easy for your spouse to spy on you. Unfortunately, cyberspying is all too common.
Be sure that you know what your privacy settings are set to on your social media accounts, so you know who can see what you post. Be smart about what you say, and be careful about the pictures you post online. It doesn’t look good when you tell the judge one thing, but your ex can show photos from your own account that tell an entirely different story.
What you post on social media is something you have control over. But if you are feeling overwhelmed about everything else that is going on with your divorce or child custody case, talk to an experienced Southern California family law attorney. At Kendall Gkikas & Mitchell, LLP, we have over 20 years of experience handling Southern California divorces and child custody matters. Let us know how we can help you by calling 909-482-1422 or emailing info@parents4children.com to make an appointment today.
