Don’t let misinformation about divorce influence your decisions! Get the facts here.
With divorce being commonplace in this day and age, many people assume that they already know everything there is to know about the process. The reality is, every divorce is different. What’s true for your divorce may not match the experience of friends, neighbors, or movie stars whose divorces you know about. Here are 6 of the most common myths about divorce and the real facts behind them.
Couples Should Stay Together for the Children
This is a commonly accepted statement, and indeed many couples end up divorcing once their children are grown. However, for many couples the decision is driven more by the realization that they have nothing in common once the children are gone rather than by the need to finally act on a long-repressed desire to separate. In any case, the goal of any parent should always be to provide for the best interests of the children. Typically, happy parents are better parents. Many parents are able to provide better home environments for their children by divorcing than by staying together.
Couples that Fight Should Get Divorced
Fighting is not necessarily a sign that a couple needs to divorce. Disagreements are natural, and voicing your feelings rather than keeping them bottled up is actually better for your marriage in the long term. As long as there is mutual love and respect, there is hope for the marriage.
Divorce Has to Be Someone’s Fault
This is a very antiquated notion dating back to the times when most states required proof that one partner had violated the marriage vows or otherwise given grounds for a divorce. Today, most states, including California, have backed away from this idea. California is a no-fault state where couples can divorce by citing “irreconcilable differences.”
Mothers Should Always Have Custody
Courts award custody based on the best interests of the children, not on the gender of the parent. There are many divorced dads with sole custody of their children these days.
The Low-Earning Spouse Always Gets Alimony for Life
While in most cases the higher-earning spouse will have to provide support to their ex during a divorce proceeding, this temporary support order does not have to last forever. The judge may determine that the supported spouse will have the ability to support themselves after a few years of training or job experience and recommend that support be terminated at that time. A judge may also deny support entirely in cases where the low-earning spouse committed domestic violence against their partner. Only in cases where couples have been married 20 years or more will lifetime support be considered.
Divorce Is Always Expensive
Divorce does not have to be costly, especially if partners are separating amicably and can avoid litigation. One excellent way to ensure your rights are protected is to consult with a divorce attorney for information and guidance, and then settle your divorce through mediation.
